Those Hated Bells
by RainyWinter344
Summary: Sequel to You Can't Beat this Kind of Traffic. It should have been him.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

It should have been him. Not the man standing there. David? Is that his name? Not like it matters. He already hates him. He hated him before he even met him. He didn't like his look, his voice, and his personality. Every time he thought about him and her together, he just wanted to sink deep into the ground and never reach sunlight. She loved him, even though that seemed odd. Considering everything he knew about her didn't at all point in this mans direction. Letting his drink sit at his lips, he thought about the whole moment. The expensive dresses that all sat around. All belonging to women he was positive she didn't know. The men and their ridicules bow ties. He must not of got that memo, for he was wearing your ordinary straight black tie. He knew you weren't meant to wear those to such occasions, but he wanted to bring as much bad luck as he could. He knows that's not fair, nor is it mature, but he loves her. He's never stopped loving her. At that moment, he would give anything just for her to know that.

" I do. " Those are two words that eat him alive. How could she say that? How could she just do that? She had such a hard time admitting that she loved him; she had such a hard time about everything with him. Yet after just one year, she has the nerve to answer that question without hesitation? He feels betrayed as he continues to watch the heartbreaking ceremony.

Then the minister asks that fucking question.

" And do you, Daniel Creed, take Veronica Mars as your lawful wedded wife for as long as you both shall live? "

" I do. "

Prick.

" By the power invested in me. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. "

If he does, I might just kill him.

Creed begins to kiss her, and the only person other than Logan who wants to snap is Keith Mars, he never liked him much either. Lets relish in this small moment. It might be the only time Logan Echolls and Keith Mars simultaneously agree about something. Every single person in the church is happy, though, all except for Logan. He's now wishing he never came along. Why did she have to invite him? Cut the fucking chord already. Save the poor bastard some pain, unless she wanted him to hurt? That would be the only thing that makes sense. If that's the case than she really is just a whore. Fuck! He hates this; he hates this shit more than the beatings he used to receive from his father. Actually this is worse. This is inner pain. This is feeling like your stomach has been twisted and tied into the most painful shell of regret. This is worse. This is just fucking worse.

But what can he do?


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note: This is a sequel to You Can't Beat this Kind of Traffic.

Did you really think I'd leave you hanging?

Anyway, this takes place a long while from where it stopped but it will all be told in time.

PS: Sorry I forgot to add this in the first chapter.

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

After all the cheers, cries, smiles, and even tears. Logan sat while the rest of the church began to shift out, off to the reception. He wasn't sure he wanted to go. He couldn't handle the stares. Stares, they have become a large part of his life. Not that it's surprising. He just doesn't like it. Daniel Creed, he thinks about that name, only because he's already taken her in his arms and started to carry her out of the premises. He thinks about how Creed rhymes with greed, actually only one letter off. The point is he is greedy, marrying her for the money, that's what he thinks anyway. Pricks like him don't just settle for attraction, and love is inexistent, but money or power rules all. She had the money, all of it. You can't take it with you to your cell. You have to put it in a safe place. He couldn't keep it. It would ruin any chances he had of becoming a decent person again. Well, as close as he could anyway. Keith Mars stood in front of Logan; he hated the fact that he couldn't.

" Ready to go? "

" Not with you. "

" I thought this was all behind us. "

Logan laughed.

" There's probably a better chance of hell freezing over. "

" For what it's worth Logan, I am sorry. "

Logan's eyes widened.

" Sorry? ... You're sorry? Well what good does that do me now! "

Keith sighed and let his hands rise in the air. He must have been indicating a truce. He soon went on his way, leaving Logan alone. As Logan shifted closer to the edge of the bench, pulling at the end of it with his hands. He saw the thing he hates most in this world, a seat like instrument with two manual wheels at the side. It was a little gift from the Los Angeles county, well, not so much a gift as a mandatory offering. As he stupidly lunged for it, he fell onto the church floor. Some of the hairs on the top of his head fell out of the ponytail he had spent so long that morning trying to get tidy.

" Fuck. " He muttered to himself quietly.

As he dragged himself towards the device, Mac walked back into the church. She couldn't believe the heartbreaking sight. He didn't hear her; he just kept dragging himself closer. That was when Mac started to walk over.

" Logan. "

He turned his head, once he saw it was her, he let his head fall to the floor. Mac went to the chair and brought it much closer. That was when Logan began to pull himself onto it.

" I'll help. "

Mac took hold of each of Logan's legs in her hands.

" No. " Logan snapped, attempting to push her away, but he wasn't able to reach.

Mac let go, and was amazed by how quickly Logan was able to get back onto the chair. He quickly placed his feet onto the floor guards. He noticed the awkward look on her face.

" What? Never seen this before? "

Mac just nodded.

" Course you haven't. "

He continued by starting off the wheels of the chair and making his way out of the church. Mac started to follow him.

" You coming to the reception? "

" No. "

" Logan. You have to. "

He spun towards Mac, making her stop.

" I don't have to do anything. If I don't want to go, I wont. "

" Okay. "

Logan continued on his way.

" She'd really want you to be there. "

" This was enough. " Was what he said as he approached the ramp at the entrance of the church.

He didn't like that. There being something put out for him, being the reason it was there. He would have rather watched from the open door, that is, if he had to watch at all. He still felt the knots in his stomach, he's not sure if that has anything to do with his injuries, or just heartbreaking pain. He let the wheel chair slide off the ramp for the second time, and hopefully, last.

The sunlight was heavy that day, as Logan wheeled his way down the street. He didn't know where he wanted to go. He originally planned to attend the reception, but at this moment, he'd rather do anything else. Seeing her kiss Daniel Creed was enough for him to see for an entire week. Seeing her do that and more throughout the entire reception would be just too hard to handle. He needed to know where to go, but an idea soon dawned on him.

*****

The bartender placed the cold beer bottle on the counter, while he was receiving odd looks from everybody at the bar. He pulled the hair-tie out of the rest of the ponytail and let the long strands fall all over, assuming his awkward hairstyle was the reason he was being looked at more than the baseball game on the television.

" Guess the regulars aren't so used to seeing people like you. " Was what Logan heard from behind the bar.

He looked in front of him, seeing the bar girl that served him.

" People like me? "

" Cripples. "

" You don't seem too surprised. " He stated, sipping his beer.

" I see it more. "

" How so? "

" My mother. "

" Sorry to hear that. "

" Same to you. "

Logan took another swig.

" How long have you been in your chair? " She asked after.

" Nearly seven years. "

" Have you got used to it? "

" No. "

" My mothers been in hers for eighteen, and she always gives me that exact answer. "

" Nice to know I'm not alone. "

The bartender nodded, and then smiled slightly. She soon shook her head.

" I'm sorry, I'm pestering you. " She started to move away.

" No, wait. "

She stopped.

" It's nice that somebody actually wants to talk to me. " He stated after.

*****

Dick and Mac sat at a table in the backyard of the large Los Angeles home. There were all types of people around, from old couples to little kids, who mostly just wanted to run around.

" I can't believe this guy's family is so massive. " Dick stated.

" I know. It's weird. " Mac replied.

" Well, it's not weird, just big. "

" Yeah, but Veronica didn't even have that many guests at all, and this guy brings the whole platoon. "

Dick nodded as he took a sip of his drink.

" Guess it doesn't help that someone didn't show. "

" Come on Dick. He couldn't. "

" That's bullshit. He damn well could have. "

" He said it was hard. "

" Of course it was. It was always going to be hard. Still, he should be here. "

*****

Hours later, Logan sat at a table with the bartender. He had never met anyone quite like her, and that went likewise. They seemed to have things in common, which was rare for Logan, very rare.

" You're a pretty cool guy, you know that? "

" Oh, I'm not really. I think you're bringing it out of me. "

" Nice line. "

" Thanks

" You are very welcome. "

There was a short pause between the two of them.

" One question. "

" What? "

" What's with the suit? "

" What about the suit? "

" I've worked here for about two years, and no one has ever come in wearing such a nice suit. "

Logan faintly smiled.

" If I tell you, you'll just think I'm a total loser. "

" I won't. "

" You will. "

" Pinky swear? " She asked bringing her little finger forward.

" Seriously? "

" Come on. "

Logan looked down. He couldn't believe the story he was about to share.

*****

Veronica started to walk towards Dick and Mac. Dick looked slightly panicked.

" Fuck. She wants to see him. "

" I know. What do we tell her? "

" He got sick? "

" No. "

" Appointment? "

" She knows him better than that. "

" I don't know. "

By then Veronica was right there. Mac immediately jumped up in an excited manner, even though that wasn't at all what she was like, it was most likely a distraction so Dick could figure out what to say about Logan. Mac hugged and screeched even though both girls uncomfortable with the situation. Eventually Veronica stopped her.

" You okay? "

" Yeah. I just can't believe you're married. "

" Thanks ... I guess. "

Dick finally mustard up the energy to say something.

" Yeah Ronnie, congratulations. "

Veronica looked around for a second.

" He didn't come, did he? "

Dick sighed.

" He couldn't. " Mac said after.

" No. I understand. It's fine. " Veronica reassured she was hiding her disappointment very well.

" He saw the ceremony. That's the important part. " Mac stated.

*****

" Oh my God. You have to go. The reception is the most important part. " She stated.

" I can't go. Not now. " Logan said shaking his head.

" Yes you can. You've got to. "

" But I don't want to. "

" Yeah, and I don't want to have to pay my rent this month, guess what, I've got to. "

" That's ridicules, you can't compare that to this. "

" I can. It's the same principle. "

Logan laughed.

" Okay. "

" You'll go? "

" Yeah. "

" Good. "

Logan quickly transferred himself from the couch like seat back onto his wheelchair, and then started wheel himself towards the door.

" Wait. "

Logan spun back towards her.

" Were you seriously going to leave without my number? "

Logan smiled.

*****

Veronica stood in the large area of grass. She just waited, hoping that maybe he'd decide to come along, like a last minute thing. She hadn't seen him in months, in the fact the last time she saw him was when he met Daniel, it didn't end well. She had learned to be civil with Logan since he was released from prison. Hell, they almost had something again he was too raw though. She understood that, his condition was something he hated, and it was probably taken advantage of on the inside. She hated to think people like herself, send others to places like that. She can't feel too much guilt, though. Logan deserved to be there, in a way, so did she. She was stupid enough to fall into his life. She didn't realize exactly what she became involved with. She can't blame him though, not now. All she wanted was for him to be there, so maybe she could try and be civil with him, if for just one last time.

*****

Logan wheeled himself into the back yard the reception was happening in. Considering he had to take the subway, it took him some time. It was getting dark now, and most of the kids were dozing off as the adults were starting to get lively and beginning to dance and sing the night away. Logan couldn't believe Veronica was having a wedding like this. It was just so ordinary. That was when Dick noticed him. He soon ran over.

" What the fuck? "

" I decided to come by. "

" Yeah, about four hours late. "

" Well at least I came. "

" She's over there. " Dick pointed at Veronica, who was sitting at one of the tables.

Logan wheeled himself over to her. He soon noticed she was watching her husband dance with his mother or something. She had a smile on her face. It was then when he realized she was happy, happy with all of this. Deep down, that killed him.

" Well look at you. " Logan said, commenting on her looks, she was so beautiful.

Veronica looked over to him. Her smile became more of a surprised face.

" I thought you weren't coming. "

" Better late then never, right? "

Veronica faintly laughed.

" You look good. "

" You don't have to lie. "

" No, really. You look healthy. "

" I'll never top you. "

Veronica smiled again.

" Thanks. "

" I'm only speaking the truth. "

After that, her new husband snatched her to go and dance with him. Logan didn't get a chance to talk to her after that. The rest of the night continued with a lot of awkward moments between Logan and people he didn't even know. Older people would ask what happened, expecting the answer to be that he was simply an irresponsible driver, which is exactly what he would tell them. Younger people would try to ignore it, but it really was the only thing on their minds. God, Logan hated being like this. He was actually very pleased when the whole thing started to end, and he could finally leave, even though he hadn't even been there that long.

*****

Logan entered his inner city Los Angeles apartment. That was one thing the chair helped with. No shady characters would dare hurt some cripple. It would just make you look bad. Either way, sometimes he wished they would hurt him. He doesn't really mean that though. He's passed depression; he's starting to get on with life. He met an interesting woman today. Isn't that something to be happy about? Logan found himself in his bedroom. He remembers a time when him and Veronica almost had something again. Only months after he was released those four years ago. He remembers when Veronica plopped down on his bed and said that one day they'd have a house in the south of France where they could grow old together. That's what scared him, the growing old part. Growing old like this, in this device. It explains why it all crumbled after that. He's got to stop living in the past. It's starting to take effect on him. At that moment Logan was amazed that it was only just starting.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

_Veronica fell down on Logan's large, and doctor prescribed, bed. He wheeled himself as close as he could. The only thing that could have made the moment perfect was if he could have been able to have sex with her. That wasn't possible though, not anymore. He just looked at her, thinking about the things she used to do to him. Before he was a vegetable, when he was able to physically enjoy it. He wished he still could, and for a moment he forgot about the problem. He simply sunk into the daydream, and in the dream, he could feel it._

_Veronica's jaw dropped, as she finally understood why he was eyeing at her so heavily._

_" Logan. Are you thinking about me? " _

_He soon jumped back into reality._

_" No. " _

_" Yeah. Okay. " _

_" What if I was? " _

_Veronica smiled, licking her lips slightly. Logan nearly went crazy; his brain falling onto ridicules ideas._

_" I'd just have to teach you a lesson. " Was what she replied as she started to slowly unzip the hoodie she had been wearing._

_Logan soon shook his head. _

_" Don't tease me, Veronica. " _

_" You like it. " _

_As she let it slide off of her arms, her nipples were visible through her shirt. This was when Logan began to feel a mild sensation, very mild, and to Logan, it was almost painful. _

_" Veronica, please. " _

_Once she had pulled her top off, Veronica crawled her way to Logan. Unwanted memories began to pester through his head, memories that he could never share. She was now sitting on him, her face only centimeters away from his. This would have been the first kiss they had in over three years. Veronica wanted it to be something they'd both remember. She slowly let her lips touch his, but only soft pecks, this continued for a short while. Logan couldn't handle it anymore, he pulled her closer and the whole situation began to heat up. He missed it, her taste. It was his favorite thing in the entire world. Veronica broke away for a second._

_" You jumped the gun. " _

_" I couldn't help myself. " _

_The whole problem soon dawned on Veronica. _

_" I don't know ... what to do. " _

_Logan let his head fell down slightly. The memories were filling up now. He even recalls a time an inmate said those exact same words to him. He soon figured it out. That would be something Logan would never forget. His head dropped further, in some attempt to hide tears. Veronica heard it, but she didn't say anything, not until he started to get loud and she knew something was wrong. That was when she asked him if he was all right, when he didn't reply she just held him. _

_" I ... I can't Veronica. " Was all he managed to say._

_" It's okay. That's okay. "_

_She'll never admit it, but when Logan said that to her, she nearly cried. She felt so sorry, so guilty._

*****

Logan sat in his bathtub, allowing water to run through his hair from a nearby tap. He proceeded by rubbing soap into the heavy stubble on his face, as he washed it out, he wondered how he was going to get to work that day. It was quarter after eight; he had about a half hour. He soon finished washing and started to exit out of his bath. Placing himself in his nearby wheelchair, he quickly made his way to his bedroom. He took a towel as he did so and began drying himself on the way. As he threw on some clothes, he looked at his clock. Shit. He knew his boss would spew at him for being late, no matter how fucked that sounds it's the truth. Logan quickly ran a comb through his hair and made his way through the door, taking a hat as he did so.

*****

Logan quickly made his way into the loud and busy factory, where Logan was soon approached by a rather old and rough looking man.

" You're late. "

" Sorry, sir. "

" If I got a dime every time you said that to me, " he said mockingly " get your ass to your post. "

He didn't like this place. He didn't like his job, he couldn't do any of the physical work, and they had him on intercom. Giving out bullshit announcements, either way, it paid all right. That was really all that mattered. Logan was soon at the top of the elevator that he had just got on. He took a quick turn as he rolled out heading for the intercom office. Just another day, he thought to himself. He's been doing this for too long.

*****

_A pale and unfocused Logan sat behind the glass of a prison visiting room. His lawyer sat across from him. Some paper work in his hands._

_" We need to discuss the money Logan. " _

_" What about it. " _

_" If you don't figure out what you're going to do with it, then it's gone. "_

_" What are you saying? " _

_" I'm saying your bank account will be frozen in roughly three days. " _

_" When will I be able to get it back? " _

_" My guess is, you won't. I really doubt you'll ever see it again. " _

_Logan's head fell down. He knew what he was going to do. _

_" Logan? " _

_" Veronica Mars. " _

_" What? " _

_" Give it to her, everything. " _

_" That'll look a little suspicious. What about Trina? " _

_" She has enough. I want it to go to Veronica. " _

_" Logan- " _

_" I said that it was going to Veronica! " _

*****

Veronica was placing dishes in the expensive dishwasher that came with her ridicules house in Westwood, an area that might as well be Neptune, just slightly further away. Daniel came up from behind her, swaying her side to side once he had hold of her, for a brief second she has a slight flashback.

_" We're never being normal are we? " Logan asked swaying Veronica side to side in his kitchen._

" Hey. "

" Hi. "

" What you want to do today? "

" I don't know. You have something in mind? "

" It's my last day, sweets. We should do something nice. "

Veronica turned to face him. She rested her hand on his chest.

" Do you really have to go? "

Daniel nodded.

" I'm only going to be a few weeks. "

" I know, but I feel like we haven't celebrated enough. "

Daniel brought his hands down to Veronica's waist.

" We'll have plenty of time to celebrate. We're married now. "

Daniel started to walk towards the stairs.

" Besides you have Caleb to keep you company. "

Veronica smiled.

" Is he still asleep? "

" He won't be in a minute. "

" Wait. "

Daniel turned around.

" Let me get him. "

*****

Veronica walked into one of the bedrooms of the house. The walls were dark blue and there were toys tucked into one corner of the room. Veronica set her eyes on the six-year-old boy who was still asleep. He looked slightly like his father Daniel, but mainly, his mother. Her name is Brook or something. Daniel doesn't like to talk about her. She can't be too nice a person if she'd take off without giving her child a second thought. Veronica knows exactly how that feels; thank God Caleb was too young. Veronica sat at the side of the little boys bed. Gently putting a hand on his head, running it through his little boy like hair. Caleb's eyes slowly open.

" Morning bud. "

Caleb quickly sat up, giving a Veronica a hug. She doesn't know when she'll get used to that. He soon stops, leaping off of his bed and running off to go be with his dad. If you had asked her about where she thought she'd be seven years ago. This wouldn't have been the answer.

*****

Logan found himself back home at six o'clock on the dot. He threw his hat off and wheeled towards the fridge, taking out a beer. He stopped in front of his television flicking it on. The first thing that came on was some Simpson's re-run. He watched that, not really paying attention. He thought about what he was going to do with the life he had left. Lets face it; he wasn't going to end up working in that dump until he couldn't call announcements anymore. Who wants to live like that? It was that moment when he needed to talk somebody. He turned the television off, no longer interested. Logan wheeled himself over to the phone. He was going to call somebody, who hopefully, still wanted to talk to him.

*****

_Veronica lay on Logan's bed, while he just sat feet away from it staring out of his bedroom window. He looked so down._

_" What's the matter with you? " _

_" I don't know. I guess this just isn't how I pictured it. " _

_" I know what you mean. " _

_" Who knew that we'd switch places. " _

_" What? " _

_" You'd be the one with the money, and I'd be the guy living in an inner-city apartment. " _

_Veronica fell onto the bed, letting her whole body rest. _

_" Don't worry, one day we'll live in a beautiful beach house in the south of France. Somewhere we can grow old together. " _

_Veronica looked up at him. _

_" Like the sound of that? " She asked after._

_Logan did his best to hide his tears, those fucking tears. _

_" Yeah, of course. "_


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

_" I don't really know what to do here kid. " Was what the older scruffy inmate admitted to Logan, he had him pinned up against some wall._

_No. Not this. Please, not this. _

_" But I think I can manage all right. " Was what he said after._

_The inmate pulled Logan out of his chair, forcing him onto a nearby table._

_" Trust me. You're gonna' feel this. " _

*****

" No! " Logan screamed as he woke up from his short doze.

Once he realized it was just a dream, he rubbed his eyes trying to get the sleep out of them.

" Fuck. "

He wheeled himself over to his counter, grabbing the cheap bottle of vodka that was there. He didn't bother getting a glass; he just opened the lid and started to pour it down his neck. It wasn't at all strong enough to make him fell better, but it was enough for now, just for now. A light knock came from the door. Logan quickly looked over at his clock. It was just after eight. He dozed off for longer than he thought. He wheeled himself over to the door, opening it. The bar girl was standing there.

" Hi. "

" Hey. "

Logan wheeled himself away from the door.

" Come in. "

*****

_It was a rainy night in Logan's apartment. He sat at a little table he had set up in the corner near his bed, filling out an application for the last job he could realistically get. Working on the intercom in a factory, that one deserves to be on the worst jobs list. Veronica woke up soon after, sitting up in a tiredly fashion. _

_" What are you doing? " _

_Logan looked over to her._

_" Nothing important. " _

_" Come to bed. "_

_" I can't sleep. " _

_" I hate that you do this. " _

_" What? " _

_" You don't ruin my nights as much as you think. " _

_Logan spun toward her. _

_" I don't see the point in ruining your night at all. " _

_" This isn't healthy Logan. " _

_" Well I'm not healthy anymore Veronica. " _

_" Don't say that. " _

_" It's true, is it not? " _

_Veronica didn't say anything. She just let the moment simmer down._

_" You want to talk about something? " _

_" Why? So you can pretend to be my shrink for an hour? Fuck Veronica! When are you going to realize that I'm just scrambled right now? " _

_Veronica looked away from him. She didn't like his outbursts, she hated them, but she didn't want to yell back. Logan was aggressive now, more than he ever was. It's understandable._

_" You going to cool down? " _

_Logan nodded. Veronica stepped out of his bed, walking closer to him. Gently placing herself onto his lap once she was close enough._

_" I'm not going to hurt you, Logan. You need to know that. " _

_" I do. " _

_" Then why are you shutting me out? " _

_" Because I don't want to hurt you. " _

_" What? " _

_Logan pulled Veronica closer, forcing her forehead to fall onto his. _

_" I'm not Logan Echolls anymore. I'm somebody else. I don't know if I can love you like he did. I don't know if I can love anyone. " _

*****

" Sounds brutal. Why do you work there? " The bartender asked, after seeing some of his work messages and asking what they were.

" It was a but of a last option thing. " Logan replied.

" Really? "

" It's harder for people in my situation to just go out and get just any job. "

" You see that's what I hate about this world. It's always about the best of the best. My mother had a hard time getting work as well. "

" My condition isn't the only reason ... "

She turned to look at him.

" What else? "

" You might want to sit down. "

*****

Veronica sat at her dining room table. Daniel had just been putting Caleb to bed, but she could hear his footsteps coming down the stairs. She made her way to the bottom of the staircase once he was there.

" Is he asleep? "

" Yeah. "

Veronica pushed herself closer to Daniel brushing her hand down his chest.

" You want to come and tuck me in next? "

" I'm kind of tired. I think I'm just going to check my e-mail and then hit the sack. "

" Come on honey. It's your last night. Don't you want to make it count? "

Daniel brought Veronica close and kissed her forehead.

" Sorry sweets. Not tonight. "

Daniel walked off after that. Veronica thought about how much that hurt her. She wasn't going to see him for nearly a month, and he didn't even want to spend the night with her?

*****

" Wow ... " Was all she managed to say.

" Yeah. " Logan replied tapping his fingers against the table a couple of times.

After a short moment of silence, Logan found himself wheeling his way to the door, prepared to open it.

" What are you doing? " She asked.

" You probably want to leave. "

" I don't. "

Logan was almost amazed, there had been other woman, and they always left after he told them about his prison sentence. It was understandable. Sometimes he wouldn't tell them at all, but eventually, it had to come out. Once it did, they were gone. So the fact this girl didn't want to leave was something, it was rare.

" What? "

" It's in the past right? I'm assuming you don't want to go back? "

Seven years ago Logan would have made a mild joke, he couldn't joke now though. So he just shook his head, more than serious.

" You're really Logan Echolls then? "

" In the flesh. "

" I remember watching it on the news ... the car chase. "

" Excellent. "

" No one knew why. At first I thought you were just stupid. "

" Thanks. "

" I didn't mean it like that ... after it happened, someone started this ... well I guess it was some sort of autobiography. "

" Autobiography? "

" Yeah, it was about you, well ... why you did it really. It got pretty deep. "

" How deep? "

" It talked about your childhood- "

Logan's eyes widened. How did he not know about this? Why the fuck didn't anyone tell him? Oh yeah, he didn't let them.

" Who wrote it? "

" I don't know. "

Logan smashed his fist into the wall.

" Try to remember! "

She was shocked, but it was understandable.

" Some journalist, his name was ... "

" What? "

" I'm thinking. "

The time it took her was short, but it felt long to Logan, he was infuriated.

" What about my childhood? "

" Some key details. "

" Like when my father turned out to be the guy that was having sex with my girlfriend, and then killed her? "

" Yeah. "

" Did it talk about how he used to beat me? Did that prick talk about that! "

" Yes. "

" Then I want to know who the fuck he is! Right now! "

" Piznarski! His name was Piznarski. "

Logan should have figured that. He should have figured his fucked up life would all be spread out in a line. As if it had happened a week ago. Fuck. He hated it, every second of it, and it wasn't getting any better. It was getting worse, so much worse.

" I'm sorry. "

" Don't say that. "

She nodded.

" You want me to leave? "

" No. "

She nodded again, this time taking his bottle of vodka. She didn't go out of her way to get a glass; she just picked up some old coffee mug on the table and took that. Pouring the alcohol inside. Logan watched her take a swig. This wasn't right, something about this didn't seem at all right.

*****

_Veronica sat on Logan's lap. She was shocked. _

_" You can't love me like he did? " _

_Logan shook his head. _

_" Jesus, there's no need to come up with some bullshit excuse. " _

_" What? " _

_" You don't want me anymore. I understand. Just say that. " _

_" That's not it Veronica. " _

_Veronica laughed as she got up off his lap. _

_" Who is it then? Another girl? Your cellmate? " _

_" Fuck you Veronica! " _

_" No! Fuck you! I can't believe you're saying this! " _

_Logan spun in the other direction. Running a hand through his hair. _

_" I'll tell you what isn't healthy Veronica. This fucking relationship! It's never been healthy at all! " _

_" I know! But I still want to try! Can't we just try! "_

_" We have! " Logan screamed turning around._

_Veronica stopped speaking, and just sat down._

_" We can try harder. " _

_" We have. " _

_" We've tried as hard as we can. " Logan said after._

_" No. I'm not letting you give up on me that easily. That's not fair. "_

_" I know. " _

_Veronica fell onto her knees, crying heavily, her head fell into his lap. _

_" Veronica, don't. " _

_Before he knew it he was attempting to comfort her by stroking her hair. _

_Once she had stopped crying, she looked up at him._

_" I still can't, Veronica. " _

_He was never as shocked by anything as much her next actions, he felt her fist bash into his stomach. He lunged forward, holding his abdomen._

_" Fuck! " _

_Veronica stood up, walking away. Logan took her arm, pulling her towards him. The slap against his face stung, but he didn't let her go, even as they continued until he eventually lost count. Once he had pulled her back into his lap he pinned her arms against her side._

_" What the hell are you doing? " _

_" Let go of me. " _

_" No! " _

_Logan could feel her tears fall onto his arms. He didn't hate her. He hated how much he loved her, and he did, it's not even funny. He just can't be with her. Not after all of this, she deserves so much better than that, so much better. He couldn't control his impulse to kiss her, and once he had, she tried to push away. Eventually she gave in, accepting it. The two of them fell off of his wheelchair, onto the hard floor. Veronica was pinned underneath him. She didn't slip away, even though she wanted to. Again, she didn't hate him either; she just hated how much she needed him. Logan began to kiss every inch of her body, all but her lips. Veronica still cried. This wasn't at all sensual this was hate sex. Logan wouldn't look her in the eye; she wouldn't dare look at him. _

_" I hate you, " He said as his mouth came to her ear, " So fucking much. " _

_Veronica shot her head away, still not looking at him._

_" I hate you more. " _

*****

Veronica slipped into her bed. Daniel was already asleep. She came closer to him, giving him a light cuddle, but he unconsciously knocked her away. That hurt her, more than anything. Veronica just got comfortable in her side of the bed, missing the man who once told her he hated her, but to this day she knows that he was playing ad-lips with his own words.

*****

_Logan looked at himself in the mirror. It was morning now. He splashed water onto his face, his beard simply making it impossible, for his lips to get wet. Veronica appeared at the doorway. She was dressed and had her purse in hand. _

_" I'm going. " She said. _

_Logan nodded. _

_" You don't really hate me, do you? " She asked needing the answer to be no._

_Logan shook his head. " Of course I don't. Do you hate me? " _

_Veronica shook hers as well. " No. " _

_Logan looked away, not able to stare into her eyes anymore. Veronica took the hint and started to walk to the door. She would have cried yet again, if she hadn't been all dried out._


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

_" Get that bitch! " _

_No!_

_Thrusting begins and like usual Logan can't feel it. Only physically, mentally he can fell it all. The sweaty bastard is grunting like a pig. That's what he reminds Logan of anyway, a big dirty pig._

_Please God! Not again! Just let it stop!_

_" Get K9 over here, he's gonna want some dibs on this. " _

_Oh sweet God, just let it stop._

*****

Logan's eyes opened. An hour's sleep. Excellent. One hour and that shit finds itself lingering back into his head. Logan found himself turning to the other side of his bed. She wasn't there. Great. He scared her off. He fell back onto his back running his hands through his forming beard. He still didn't know why he shaved for the wedding, which was probably not necessary. Either way, Veronica complimented him on it. She usually didn't.

*****

_" Come here. " He said, pulling Veronica onto his lap. _

_As he went in for a kiss, she moved her head. He was slightly hurt._

_" Sorry. I really can't handle another fuzz attack. " _

_" Oh, is that the case? " _

_Logan pulled her closer and started to kiss her everywhere. She was laughing like a child._

*****

A tear fell down Logan's cheek, but he quickly wiped it away. He pushed her out for a reason. He wasn't allowed to miss her now. That sounds funny coming from him. Considering he's never been able to give her up. They were friends after the breakup, not best friends, but friends nonetheless. He had met Caleb before he met Daniel. He liked that little kid, a lot better then his dad. That's not saying much, though. He probably liked some of the inmates better than that kids dad.

Logan could hear a key scrape into the lock of his door. It opened after that. She walked through, a bag of some sort in her hand. This brought a smile to his face.

" Where'd you go? " He asked, sitting up.

She lifted the bag.

" Breakfast. "

" There's plenty of, " He took second to think, " ... actually I can see why that would be necessary. "

She laughed slightly.

" How often do you shop anyway? "

" Not enough. "

She finished setting the food onto his counter, stopping after and walking towards him.

" You should take better care of yourself ... "

She crawled onto his body, pushing his torso back onto the mattress.

" Or you could find yourself in a bad situation. " She finished.

Logan started to run his hands down her back.

" Maybe you could be my personal shopper. "

" Don't push your luck. "

" It was worth a shot. "

She smiled, giving him a light kiss.

" Thank you. " He said after.

" What for? "

" Sticking around. Being you. You're really cool you know. "

" I can't help but think you're trying to score something off of me. "

" Again, it was worth a shot. "

She playfully smacked him, and then got up to get the food ready. Logan sat up, just watching her for a second.

*****

_The water ran heavily through the tap as Veronica washed the dishes of their meal. Logan watched her. He couldn't do that anymore, wash dishes in a sink. He didn't do dishes often anyway. He would reuse dishes so much that it became an occasional thing. This was nice. Watching her do something so normal. He hadn't seen anything of the sort in such a long time, too long a time._

*****

Veronica and Caleb came out of LA X. Daniel had just left. Veronica stopped asking about his business trips a long time ago. He had to go on them so often. That was the only shame about Daniel, he was really a good guy, but he was just so distant from everything. Even Caleb is someone he sees on a minor basis, which sounds odd. Considering you shouldn't put anything before your child. Veronica looked down at Caleb. He looked upset.

" Caleb? You okay? "

" Why does daddy leave so soon? "

Veronica knelt down to be level with the kid.

" Daddy has a really important job, and he loves that job very much- "

" More than me? "

Veronica was surprised.

" No, not at all. He loves you more than anything. "

" Even you? "

" Even me. "

Caleb started to look around the area. Veronica could tell he was looking for some out route.

" What do you want to do today? "

Caleb didn't answer.

" Honey? "

Caleb shrugged his shoulders.

" Well ... what's your favorite thing to do? "

" Ducks. "

" What? "

" I wanna see ducks. "

Veronica smiled. Nodding her head once.

" Ducks. All right. Ducks it is. "

*****

Logan and the bartender sat across from each other at his table. She just stared at him.

" What? " He asked, noticing.

She shook her head.

" It's nothing. "

" No. Tell me. "

" What was prison like? Is it really what it says in the movies? "

Logan took a deep breath.

" It's not far off. "

" Did it ... did that ... "

" Are you asking me if I got raped? "

She nodded.

" Why do you want to know that? "

" You seemed uncomfortable. Last night, I mean. Like you were scared. "

" Really? "

" Yeah. "

Logan took a sip of his coffee.

" I won't go into details, but yes, I was raped. "

There was a short moment of silence. She took it all in.

" I'm sorry- " Logan began.

" Don't apologize. " She interrupted.

Logan just looked at her.

" It's not your fault. " She said after, taking his hand.

" Yeah. It's not. "

*****

_Veronica was wrapped around Logan's body. Resting her head against his chest. She was running her finger over the scar on his kidney. He could hardly feel her touch._

_" Logan. " _

_" Yeah. " _

_" What's this? " _

_" What? " _

_Veronica began to rub against it with a little more pressure. Logan looked over, seeing the slice Gory had given him those years ago._

_" That's nothing. " He said after._

_" Why won't you tell me? " _

_" It's not important. " _

_" It is to me. "_

_Logan sighed, rubbing his eyes. He didn't have the heart to tell her about Gory. So he just thought of the next best thing._

_" I was seven. " _

_Veronica swallowed. _

_" Aaron didn't want me playing with my baseball in the house. I didn't listen. " _

_" Don't. " She pleaded, burying her head back into his chest._

_He pulled her even closer to him. Feeling guilty for lying straight to her face. He kissed the top of her head after that. Hoping she'd never ask him about any of his scars again._

_" I'm so sorry, Logan. I'm so sorry. " _

*****

Logan was wheeled out of his apartment building about an hour later. She insisted since he had a day off that he should go out and smell the air. That seemed ridicules to him, Los Angeles air.

" I don't know about this. "

" It's good for you. "

" Yeah. I'm sure. "

She stopped for a second.

" People giving you stares shouldn't stop you from living your life. "

Logan nodded.

" Where are we going anyway? "

" You'll have to wait and see. "

*****

_Veronica stepped towards the door, ready to open it. Logan was just behind her. _

_" I don't want to do this Veronica. " _

_" Why not? Don't you get sick of being in here? " _

_" No actually. It's like my own little world. " _

_" What about the real world. " _

_" It's overrated. " _

_" Christ Logan. Nobody cares. " _

_" I care! " _

_Veronica made sure there was a short silence. _

_" I'll be back later. Hopefully by then you'll be cooled down. " _

*****

Veronica and Caleb were on their way back to her car. He had seen some ducks in a nearby fountain that Veronica knew was around. The kid did like them for some reason. They all have their things though. She was sure she had something like that as well. She just can't remember right now. That's a shame, that's a real shame.

" Logan! " Caleb yelled, as he and his new friend came towards their direction.

By the time Veronica had visually found him, Caleb had already started running towards the two of them. As the boy jumped over to give Logan a hug, he caught him and brought the boy onto his lap. Veronica started making her way over there.

" Hey Caleb. What are you doing here? "

" Veronica let me play with ducks. "

" Did she now. Well that was nice of her. "

" Yeah. "

The bartender knelt down to wave at the boy.

" Caleb, this is Sam. "

" Hi Sam. "

" Hi Caleb. "

Veronica was behind Sam by then. Logan smiled at her. She didn't smile back.

" Sam? "

Sam turned around. Soon standing up.

" Hi, is he yours? " She asked.

" No. I'm just the step mommy. " Veronica answered.

" He's so cute. His father must be the most handsome man. "

" He is indeed. "

" Veronica, you've met my friend here. " Logan said after, Sam immediately knew who this woman was.

" How long you two known each other? " Veronica asked.

" Not too long, just a couple of weeks really. " Sam replied, smiling over at Logan.

" That's nice. " Veronica stated, a mocking sort of tone.

Veronica purposely looked at her watch.

" Alright little man. We have to get going. "

Caleb jumped off of Logan, quickly going to Veronica.

" I'll have to come visit you soon. Won't I? " Logan asked, and Caleb nodded his head.

" Only say that if you will, Logan. " Veronica replied harshly.

" Of course I will. " Logan said.

" Good. "

" Bye. " Veronica directed to Sam.

" Yeah, Bye. "

" Say bye Caleb. " Veronica said after.

" Bye. "

After that the two of them left. Heading back to her home in Westwood. Sam? Seriously, Logan was with some other woman. All Veronica wondered was why that bothered her so much. Why the hell did that bother her so much?

As Logan watched the two of them on their way, he smiled. He could tell Veronica was mildly jealous. He knew it wasn't fair on Sam, but this just gave him the lightest shred of hope.


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

_Veronica woke up in the middle of the night. It was warm and she wasn't sleeping well anyway._

_" Logan? " She asked, too rested to move._

_" Yeah. " He replied, sitting up against the wall a drink on his nightstand._

_" How do you do it? " _

_" What? "_

_" Get the dreams out. " _

_Logan brought Veronica close to him, letting her body sink into his lap. He rubbed her shoulder afterwards._

_" You don't. "_

_" Excellent. "_

_" What's bothering you? " _

_" Just a recurring thing. " _

_" What is it? " _

_Veronica pushed herself off of his lap, placing herself higher against his body. Logan held her tighter._

_" It's my dad. I keep having this dream ... "_

_Veronica chocked up a little. Logan didn't really know how to speak to Veronica when she talked about her father. The guy put two bullets in his stomach, one of the impacts landing him straight into a wheelchair. Not that it was out of context. Logan had been waving a gun towards a police officer. Keith simply reacted. Logan was sure he would have done the exact same thing, but only if it had of been Keith, anybody else he would have had to think twice. He buried his head into her hair, just trying to forget what her father did to him._

_" It's at his funeral ... I know he's not dead ... but ... I can't, I can't stop crying. " _

_" You should talk to him. " _

_" I can't. " _

_" Why? " _

_" I haven't forgiven him. " _

_" I have. " _

_" He didn't need to shoot twice, he didn't need to shoot at all. The gun wasn't loaded. " _

_That much is true, stupid as that sounds. To this day he doesn't know why he thought he could shoot that officer, maybe the adrenaline rush made him imagine things. He did it all in such a panic that he stopped thinking clearly, or maybe, he just really wished it would have been loaded._

_" He didn't know that. " _

_" He could have figured. " _

_Logan pushed Veronica away from him for a second, looking into her eyes._

_" It was my fault, Veronica. Not his. I brought this on myself. " _

_Veronica started to cry, Logan pulled her close again._

_" I just ... I just ... can't forgive him ... and I really hate that. " _

_Logan finally knew what she meant. It wasn't what happened to Logan, even though that was horrid, it was the fact that Keith actually did it. Veronica couldn't believe he'd do something like that. It was truly unbearable. Thinking about it, Logan could understand. Not because his father was a saint, slimy demon is what Logan usually refers him as, but because Veronica and Keith had such a close and special relationship. The fact that he would go and shoot the only person she loved more, was insane. He doesn't know though. Does she love him more than her father? As she finished sobbing, Logan started to brush her cheek._

_" Veronica? " _

_" Yes. " _

_" Can I ask you something? " _

_" What? " _

_" Do I mean more to you than your father? " _

_Veronica took her head out of his chest, looking at him._

_" You always have. Didn't you know that? " _

_Logan shook his head. Veronica smiled._

_" Logan, you're the biggest person in my life. " _

_Logan looked away; anyone else would have loved hearing that. For some reason he didn't._

_" That puts a lot of pressure on me, Veronica. " _

_" I don't expect you to save me all the time Logan, just to do what you can. " _

_Logan looked by over to her, smiling. _

_" I think I can do that. " _

_Veronica gave him a kiss._

_" I'm up now. " _

_" So. " _

_" I don't really want to talk anymore ... so- "_

_Logan's hands started to travel up her tank top. Her skin was so soft. Veronica smiled and then pushed herself closer, her hands reaching into a certain area. Logan could hardly feel her. So he could only imagine it. Try and remember from before. He had to lose himself in the memories._

_" Be gentle with me. " He begged._

*****

Logan sat outside the Los Angeles times building. He couldn't believe Piznarski made such a future fro himself. In a way he was just jealous. Well, not jealous, he would have hated being a journalist. Either way it was a big paper, the biggest actually. They wouldn't give him an appointment. The fact he ended up cursing and pointing to his photo on the book couldn't have helped. She hadn't believed it was him. Must have been the hair. Logan looked down at his lap, examining the hardback autobiography on his lap. It wasn't a great picture, just the most popular. He'd seen it many times before, in the " story tonight " type of bullshit.

Piz walked out of the building, looking like your average jerk-off. His flashy haircut accompanied by some cheesy blonde streaks. Fuck. What the hell happened to this guy? Logan wheeled himself over to him once he was only feet away. Piz looked over at him, he himself not recognizing the man in the wheelchair. He stopped for a second.

" Do I know you? "

" I'd hope so. "

" What? "

Logan picked up the book and held it in the air.

" _Why did he snap?_ Somewhat of a harsh title, don't you think? "

Piz froze. Was it him? No. That couldn't be right.

" Logan? "

" Bingo! "

Piz couldn't take his eyes off the wheelchair. Logan noticed.

" Christ. You didn't know about this old thing? Suppose you wouldn't. Considering you ended the book right when I was shot. "

Piz swallowed.

" I thought you needed permission to write books about people. I mean that's just what I've heard. Am I wrong? " Logan asked after.

" Look man, you were in- "

" Prison. I am aware. "

" I tried to visit you but- "

" I cut my own privileges. You don't have to tell me these things. I'm guessing you tried to visit me and ask? "

" Yeah. "

" But when you couldn't, you just did it anyway? "

Piz nodded.

" You could have written a letter. "

" I know. I- "

" Should have. You didn't though. That doesn't do me any good, does it? "

" Christ man! What do you want me to say? "

Logan threw the book to the ground, only to be eyed by some of the people around.

" That you're a slimly fucking journalist that went out of his way to fuck me over! "

" Calm down. "

" What was it Piz! Did you think you had the right because you knew me somewhat? Or was it just to show off your bullshit skills! "

" Look. I didn't fuck you over. I just wrote an autobiography. Someone was going to. "

" Why? I'm I just that interesting? "

" Unfortunately. You are. You brought that on yourself though. You must know that. "

Logan took a deep breath.

" I'm pretty fucking sure if I got hold of you I'd still be able to kick your ass. "

" Are you threatening me? "

" What you gonna' do? Tell on me? "

" I would, but I feel sorry for you. "

" How so? "

" I can see your still full of aggression. Must really hard to know you can't do anything about it. "

Logan clenched his fist. Trying to resist the urge to charge at him.

" But it would be really interesting to see you try. " Piz stated after.

He walked closer to Logan. Making sure the wheelchair bound man was within swinging distance. Logan kept still, even though the urge nearly burst through him.

" Didn't think so. " Piz said as he turned his heal and started walking off.

Don't go after him.

You're better than that.

Don't.

Logan quickly turned away. Thinking about anything but that bastard. He already kicked his ass once; he's already had the pleasure. Doing it again would be silly. Christ. He really is just full of aggression.

*****

Veronica stepped into her bedroom. She was ready for work. Nothing on her looking unprofessional in any way. She walked towards her dresser, opening the top drawer. It was far too high for Caleb to reach, which was deliberate. As it opened fully the gun was clearly visible, again professional, the one weapon the FBI issues. She wouldn't dare use anything else. As she slid the weapon into her holster she took one last look at herself in the mirror, making sure she fit exactly what an agent should be. After that Veronica said goodbye to Caleb, and his babysitter, and with that she was out of the door.

*****

Logan wheeled his way into his house. At his counter rested other bottles of alcohol. He shouldn't drink so much. He knows that. It's better than using heroin though, isn't it? That's stupid, he shouldn't say that. He just feels useless. Not like he was particularly useful before, but at least he had hope. Hope of changing, even though it all fell apart. He forgets how his life spun out of control. With that, he remembers the only visitor he ever had in prison. The only person he ever allowed. It was a mistake.

*****

_Logan was wheeled into the private visitation room. Who the hell was this person? He was scruffy, not looking well whatsoever. He hoped it wasn't her. He couldn't bear her seeing him like this. He was truly shocked when he saw the person at the other end of the glass. Truly shocked. He brought the phone to his ear when the guard was out of the way._

_" Duncan? " _

_" Hello Logan. " _

_" What are you doing here? " _

_" Just making sure this place is horrid, which it should be. " _

_" What? "_

_" I hope you're really feeling it in here Logan, everything that's happening. " _

_Logan started breathing heavily._

_" What are you talking about? " _

_" K9, Dexton, you know. " _

_" How do you know them? " _

_" I should. I'm paying them. " _

_Logan started to rub his temple. _

_" What are you saying? " _

_" All that's happening to you. I'm only making sure it's worse. The worst it can get really. That's what you deserve. " _

_Logan's hand forcefully pressed against the glass. This startled Duncan._

_" You're paying them to do this? " _

_Duncan nodded. He could feel Logan's angered energy._

_" Why? " He asked after._

_" You stole her from me Logan. You stole her from me. " _

_" Who? " _

_Duncan only looked at him in greater focus._

_" You know. " _

_Logan's hand bashed against the glass. Duncan was prepared._

_" I'm going to waste you. One day you'll be nothing but a fucking dull shell of a body floating in some river. I'm going to make sure of it. " Logan promised, in the harshest whisper._

_" Good luck with that. " Duncan replied, hanging up the voice phone. _

_As he walked away Logan left his hand in the exact place. He closed his eyes, imagining ways he could torture Duncan, something he still does, on a regular basis._

*****

Logan sat in his wheelchair. Sober. Something he is not, far from in fact. An empty bottle, of Jack Daniel's in his hand. That he finally dropped to the floor due to his state. He felt numb. He thrives for this feeling. Hardly any emotion in his body at all. He's not an alcoholic. He just has to exceed the limit on a bit more of a schedule. Think what you wish, but if you had to deal with the memories he has to on a day-to-day basis, you might just find yourself on a drinking schedule as well.

*****

_Veronica walked Backup on the beach, walking past a group of people. Once they were out of the way she went on her way. She was quickly startled to see Logan in front of her._

_" So, I guess we broke up, huh? "_

_She began to walk away, unsure what to think. He followed her._

_" What do you want me to say, Logan? "_

_" Logan, I'm gonna go home and put my head in the oven because I can't go on living knowing what a heartless bitch I am. Something like that! "_

_He soon jumped in front of Veronica, stopping her from moving ahead._

_" So you're saying you want me dead? "_

_" Yes. "_

*****

Logan began to cry. Looks like the booze didn't kill his emotions fully this time.

" Fuck! "

He continued to cry. Pressing his fists into the sides of his head. Why did he have to love her so much? He didn't want to. He wants to hate her. He wants to be able to push her to the far corners of his brain. Why can't he do that? Why the hell can't he do that?


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

Logan awoke as a hard slap came across his face. His vision cleared once his eyes had been open for a short time. He saw Sam.

" What the hell? "

" You wouldn't wake up. "

" Oh. "

Sam had the bottle of Jack Daniel's in her hand. Logan looked down at it, she noticed.

" Are you a drunk? "

" No. "

" It seems that way to me. "

" I don't do this often. "

" But you do it? "

" Now and again. "

Sam pushed the bottle into his face.

" This is an entire bottle, Logan! "

" Don't yell at me. "

" How did you get in anyway? " He asked after.

Sam was somewhat hurt. As if he wished she hadn't been there.

" The door was open. "

" So you thought it was okay to just stroll on in? "

Sam went from somewhat hurt to very in a matter of seconds.

" Fine. I'll go. " She replied as she headed to the door.

Logan wheeled after her, taking her arm in the process.

" Sam. "

The woman turned around. Logan couldn't let her leave. Not over somebody that wasn't in his life anymore. He knew that he couldn't be alone anymore, it was too hard, too lonely, and too mind crushing.

" Don't. " He begged.

" What's in it for me? " She asked.

Logan pulled himself closer, beginning to kiss her abdomen. He was gentle, she couldn't remember a time someone caressed her so gently.

" Tell me. " She demanded, letting him push the black t-shirt off of her stomach.

Logan took his lips off of her skin, staring at her.

" Whatever you want. "

She closed her eyes letting him continue to kiss her.

" Is that enough? " He asked.

" Plenty. "

There was only one other person he would rather have wanted to answer that question, but at this point he'll take what he can get. Logan pulled her down towards him, taking in every essence of her. She may not have been her, but she was almost as good.

*****

_Logan lay on his back as he stared up at his ceiling. His skin left exposed due to the heat. You could count at least fifteen puncture scars his body, and this was exactly what Veronica had been doing. She took her time examining each scar when she'd find one._

_" What are you doing? " _

_Veronica looked up at him, almost in tears._

_" What was it like? " _

_" It wasn't good. " _

_" You used. "_

_" Yes. " _

_" How much? " _

_Logan scratched his sweaty hair. He didn't know the answer. He lost track._

_" Too much. " _

_" How long have you been clean? " _

_" Just over six months. " _

_Veronica crawled onto his body, burying her head into his shoulder._

_" You read my letters. " _

_" Every word. " _

_Veronica kissed his shoulder._

_" You never let me visit you. " _

_" I didn't let anyone visit me. " _

_" Why? " _

_" I didn't want people to see me in the state I was in. " _

_" I wouldn't have cared. " _

_Logan stroked the back of her head._

_" I know, but you wouldn't have been able to handle it. " _

_" You don't know that. " _

_" Don't argue with me Veronica! I did what I did because I thought it was best! " _

_Veronica didn't reply, but Logan could feel her nearly shaking in his arms. He only held her tighter, calming himself down._

_" I'm ... sorry. " He said after._

_Logan could feel her tears falling onto the skin of his chest. He felt guilty for screaming at her. He didn't know why he did that._

_" I've only ever wanted to help you. " She stated. _

_" Really? "_

_" Of course. " _

_Logan began to stroke the back of Veronica's head again._

_" I used to think about you ... before I went to sleep. I used to wonder what you were doing with your life. " _

_" I finally worked that internship in Virginia ... " Veronica stopped, she noticed Logan smiling, " I put it in the letter, didn't I? " _

_He nodded. _

_" I was proud of you. " _

_" What? " _

_" I was really proud of you. You finally had your chance to go. I was so angry you didn't get to before. " _

_" That was three years ago. " _

_" It still bugged me. " _

_Veronica smiled lightly, tugging at some of the thin strands of Logan's hair._

_" That's sweet. " _

_Logan started to tug her hair as well. Veronica started to laugh._

_" Is this are new thing now? " _

_" I like it. " _

_Veronica gave Logan a deep kiss. She broke it a while after._

_" I love you. " _

_Logan pulled Veronica close and gave her an even deeper one. He kept hold of her face and he broke his lips away. She kept expecting him to say it back, but no such thing happened. She didn't take it too seriously. He probably just thought it wasn't necessary__._

*****

Logan and Sam cuddled close to each other in his large bed. He was holding her rather tight, trying to make her feel wanted, which she was. Sam made circles against Logan's hand with her finger. He pushed his head closer to hers and began to whisper into her ear.

" Do you regret staying? "

" No. "

" Good. "

There was a short moment of silence.

" This is nice. " She stated.

" Yeah. It is. "

Both of them tried to melt into the moment, and were rather successful. Only until Logan's phone began to ring. The first time around he let it go through, and they were given another nice moment of silence. Whoever called the first time must have called again though, for the phone started to blare loud sound minutes later. Logan quickly flipped onto his back and picked up the phone.

" Hello? " He said, slightly angered by the disturbance.

" Logan? " It was her voice. Jesus.

" Veronica? "

" HI. "

" What is it? "

Veronica sighed.

" Caleb keeps getting really excited about you coming to see him. That kid loves you for some reason. Anyway, I just wanted to know if you're really going to bother or not, and if not. Please, just say so now. "

Logan thought for a second.

" No. No. It's fine. I'll come see him. When's a good time? "

" Sooner rather than later. "

Logan nodded to himself.

" Can I call you back? When I have a better idea of when I can. "

" Yeah. Just do it soon please. "

" Course. "

Logan hung up the phone after that. Sam was looking over at him. She had a slight look of disbelief on her face.

" What? "

" Why were you talking to her? "

" It was about Caleb. Apparently he's really excited about seeing me and she's just saying that I should come by soon. "

" Yeah. Yeah. "

" What's that mean? "

Sam shrugged her shoulders and quickly turned to lie on her side.

" Oh Sam. " Logan said after, pushing himself close enough to wrap his arms around her.

" There's no need to get like that. She married someone else. "

" You're still hung up on her. "

Logan buried his head into her neck. She kind of laughed from the tickle.

" I thought you were my girl? "

Sam didn't say anything.

" Sam? "

She spun towards him. Pulling at some of the thin strands of his hair. Why'd she have to do that?

" Then I guess that makes you my boy. "

Logan was forced to give her a smile.


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

Logan knocked on the door of her overly expensive house. How long has she lived here? It didn't seem like something she would want. It seemed like something you would find the average family in Neptune living in, not Veronica Mars. His thoughts were cut short as she opened the door. He couldn't do anything but look at her. She could only do the same. He didn't look healthy to her, not like he did at the wedding. He was pale, which could only be from his lack of sleep.

" Are you okay? " She asked, commenting on his state.

" I'm fine. " He replied.

Veronica opened the door further, allowing him to wheel his way in. Once he was inside, he took a second to examine his surroundings.

" Please tell me you didn't choose this house. "

" You're right. Daniel really had to push this on me. "

Logan hated that. He pushed it on her.

" Where's my man then? "

" He's in the yard. "

Logan began to wheel himself towards the doors, which the windows made possible for Logan to see the boy running around.

" I want to talk to you. "

Logan stopped.

" What about? " He asked, turning to her.

" Apparently you had a little visit with Piz. "

" You still keep in touch with him? "

" No. Wallace does. I was talking to him the other day. "

Logan nodded.

" I can understand why you would be mad. " Veronica stated after.

" Can you now? "

" Don't get like that. "

" What am I supposed to get like Veronica? "

She didn't say anything.

" So you know about it? " Logan asked after.

" Yeah. I didn't read it if that's what you're asking. "

" That's a shame, because there was stuff in there, stuff about him. "

Veronica swallowed. She knew exactly whom he meant.

" I didn't know that. "

" You wouldn't. "

A short silence fell between the two of them.

" There was a lot of stuff about you though. You were almost the next best thing."

Logan said.

Veronica didn't say anything.

" Daniel better watch out. Piznarski there might still have some feelings for you. " Logan stated, winking.

Moments later he spun around, heading for the little boy in the backyard. For a second Veronica could feel the teenage jackass he used to be. Was that person coming back? She hoped that wasn't the case.

*****

Sam stood at the counter of the bar she hated working in. All of the regulars were in, which wasn't surprising. There was one face Sam didn't recognize though. To her, that was odd, considering the time. With that, she found herself walking to him. He didn't have a drink and was just reading through a newspaper.

" Can I get you something? "

Terrance Lythanelle looked up at her, a smile coming across his face.

" You sure can. "

*****

Veronica stood at her stove in the kitchen, making lunch for the whole gang of people that happened to be around. She heard the door open and shut as Logan and Caleb made their way inside.

" Who's hungry? " She yelled, sounding like such a mother.

Logan nearly cringed as he heard that. For fucks sake, what happened to his Ronnie? Caleb charged towards her call. He was such an energetic kid. Logan could hardly keep up with him, going from one place to the other so quickly. The thought of that was upsetting but he couldn't complain. Logan found himself in the kitchen; some silly suburban sandwiches were set on the counter with the crusts cut off. Logan had to laugh slightly; it was the only way to keep sane from the disbelief.

*****

_Logan and Veronica sat across from each other at his table. He was glancing at the newspaper, but in not too long of a time it depressed him. So he rested it down. Veronica was staring at him. For a while he stared back, thinking it was some sort of game. He soon remembered that Veronica didn't play games, and with that he was automatically concerned._

_" What's up? "_

_" Where is this going? " _

_" What? " _

_" Do you think we have a future? "_

_" I don't know. " _

_" Well that doesn't make me comfortable. " _

_Logan shook his head._

_" Why do we need to talk about this? " _

_" Because believe it or not people in relationships talk about these things. " _

_" We're in a relationship? " _

_Veronica looked hurt._

_" What? Do you not think so? " _

_Logan sat back, scratching his head._

_" I don't know, Veronica. Isn't it just a nasty cycle with us? We have a good thing going, and then someone brings up the future and it all just crumbles. "_

_" That's a pretty negative outlook. " _

_" Is it not true? " _

_" It's close. " _

_Logan wheeled away from the table, not at all looking at her. Veronica stood up and made her way towards him, she rubbed his shoulders once close enough._

_" That doesn't have to happen again. We can work on this. " _

_" We could? " _

_Veronica knelt down to be level with him. _

_" Of course. " _

_Logan rubbed one of his eyes. The future, the thing that always scared him because of the things he could no longer do. Not only because of the physical state he was in, there was also the fact that prison shattered his emotions. Constant abuse and confusion, it stopped him from being able to sequence his life, let alone control it._

_" We could never have a normal life. " _

_Veronica laughed, slight tears in her eyes._

_" Have we ever? " _

_Logan smiled._

_" No. "_

_Veronica began to rub his chest, trying to comfort him._

_" Believe it or not Logan, I don't want a cardboard cutout suburban life. I just want you. " _

*****

" Yeah I'm sure. " He whispers under his breath.

Veronica quickly looks at him.

" What was that? "

" Just mumbling to myself. "

She nodded, having a faint idea of what he was thinking about. She didn't want any of this; it just fell into her lap.

" Why do you mumble? " Caleb asked, referring to the fact that he would do that almost every time the kid saw him.

Logan looked over at Veronica who just stared back, as if wondering the same thing.

" No reason, Caleb. I just do. "

" Oh. " The child replied, almost not believing that, but too young to understand.

Veronica continued to look at him; she knew that something was different now. He could have just been having a hard time taking everything in, the house, her role, and her life for that matter. It might have just been too different then from what she was, with him anyway.

*****

Logan was at the door; Veronica was ready to open it for him.

" Thanks for coming. "

" No problem. "

Veronica looked down for a second, but quickly shot her head back up.

" I know it's weird, my life now. "

" You know there was a time you told me you didn't want this? "

Veronica nodded, " I know. "

" So what changed your mind? "

" Time. "

Logan had a sudden look of understanding on his face.

" That's fair. "

Logan made his way to the doorknob, but Veronica turned and opened it by the time he was there.

" Thanks. "

" You're welcome. "

Logan wheeled himself out of there; he didn't like the whole experience. It was so disappointing. Maybe there was no hope for their relationship maybe it was lost. Logan cried slightly as he made his way to his car. Jesus. What the fuck happened to his Ronnie?


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

The wheels of Logan's wheelchair sprung through the door of his apartment. To his surprise Terrance was at his counter. Logan didn't know what to say, his mouth went dry. He was almost scared, not of the man, but what the man probably possessed. If it was on the table there was no controlling what he would do.

" How'd you get in here? "

" Your girlfriend let me in. "

" Where is she? "

" Not here. She went back to work. "

Logan shut the door, wheeling himself closer to the man.

" What the fuck do you want? "

" Jesus Echolls. No need to get hostile. "

" You fucked my life up! You looking to kick me while I'm down! "

Terrance shook his head.

" I know what I did was wrong, but at least I warned you. "

" And look where that got me. "

" Hey. Now you being in that chair are nobody's fault but your own. I didn't tell you to go waving that gun around. "

Logan was angry, but only because Terrance was right.

" What do you want? "

" I want to help you out. "

Logan didn't look impressed.

" How would that work? "

" I think I can get you out of your situation. "

His eyes widened.

" What? "

" I have a copy of your spinal chord x-rays. They must have told you about its condition. "

" That was seven years ago! They could have reversed it then. They can't do that now. "

" That's not what the surgeon I spoke to said. "

" And what was that? "

" He said that it could never be too late, the operation would only heighten in risk."

" Are the risks not high enough? "

" Not to this guy. He said he'd examine you. "

Logan ran a hand through his hair.

" Look around. Does it look like I could afford something like that? "

" It's just an examination, Echolls. "

" Look, as much as I appreciate this. I don't think I could go through with it. "

" Why? "

" Cause it's a big fucking deal! "

" An examination? "

" Hope! "

The room went silent and stayed that way for a short time.

" Just think about it. "

Terrance started for the door, leaving a business card on Logan's counter. Logan stared at the slip of paper. Could this be an option? They told him about it in prison but he could never get it done in there, by the time he was out most doctors said it was too risk ridden. So what made this guy any different?

*****

Veronica walked to her door, which had soft knocks tapping against it. As she pulled it open, Wallace stood there. He almost immediately darted to her and the two of them shared a tight hug.

" Congratulations. " He whispered, " I'm sorry I wasn't there. "

" Well, I think you might have used your one free pass. "

Wallace laughed.

" Yeah, I sure did. "

The hug broke and Veronica started to move inside the house, Wallace followed her.

*****

Logan let the bottle of beer rest on his lips, sipping it ever so slowly. He was contemplating whether to call the surgeon or not. He didn't think it was going to work out and he didn't want to give himself false hope, but it was just an examination it wasn't a promise of any sort. It was then the front door shot open and a cheerful looking Sam walked through. As she shut the door, her expression weakened as she watched him drink.

" Hi. " He said, taking the glass off of his lips.

" Hey. "

Logan pushed himself towards the counter, which was nearby; he rested the bottle on top of it.

" I'm guessing you've heard Terrance's news. "

" Yeah, and I think it's really good. "

" That man doesn't know shit. "

" What? "

" Was he not even in the fucking autobiography? Terrance Lythanell, the biggest criminal wonder of the goddamn world. "

" I don't know what you're talking about. "

Logan chuckled to himself.

" You wouldn't. "

Sam looked down at the floor; she could tell his speech was sloppy. She tilted her head back up to look at him.

" How many drinks have you had? "

" I don't know, a few. "

" Just a few? "

" Yes! A fucking few! "

Sam stood her ground; she wasn't going to let him scare her.

" Maybe a couple more. " He admitted after cooling down slightly.

" That's what I thought. "

Logan rubbed his eyes.

" I don't know what's wrong with me Sam. I don't mean to lash out at you. "

" I know. "

" You don't have to stand there and take it. You can bale if you want. "

Sam looked up at the ceiling, almost laughing in realization.

" What? " Logan asked.

" I just figured you out. "

He didn't respond. He just stared at her. She started to slowly walk towards him.

" You simply expect people to leave you, but when they don't, you get scared or something ... so you push them away until they get out of your life completely. "

" That's a pretty serious statement. "

" It's true though. "

" Partly. "

" Where did I go wrong? "

" I don't get scared Sam. I can't be scared anymore. I only ever get scared for others. "

" So why are you scared for me? "

" Because I really like you. "

Sam sat herself down on Logan's lap. She started playing with his hair, pulling at it and everything.

_Veronica laid herself down on Logan's lap, playing with some of the strands of hair on his neck._

" You don't have to fear for everyone, believe me. I can handle that on my own. "

Logan smiled at her and began to stroke her cheek. He had a nice girl in his life. He shouldn't feel so down all the time. It was then he really wanted to make something clear.

" You think I should get that examination? "

" I do. "

*****

Wallace watched Caleb as he fell asleep on the couch. Veronica was close by.

" He's a cute kid. "

" I know. "

" What happened to his mother? "

" She left. "

" Ouch. "

" Yeah. "

Wallace brought his attention over to Veronica.

" So ... is he a good guy? "

Veronica nodded.

" Very. "

" You happy? "

" Yes. "

Wallace smiled.

" That's really good, V. "

*****

Terrance walked down a Los Angeles street, it was rainy as hell and no one was around. As he came to an ATM, he stopped in front of it and began punching senseless numbers into the keypad. It was then the hot tears started to stream down his cheeks and he collapsed into the nearby wall. His body slid to the ground as he wept. It happened so long ago, he should be over it by now, but he couldn't do that. It all seemed like the day before, every goddamn second.

*****

_The air was dirty and hot on the Mexican front. Sweat was all that seeped into every centimeter of Terrance's body. The car was black, but it stank. A smell he couldn't explain, a smell that was too wretched to still think about. Clarence Weidman popped the trunk. To this day Terrance couldn't tell you how he felt as Alex's dead body fell onto the sand covered ground._

_" Oh God!!! " Was what he screamed as he collapsed to the ground. _

_Duncan Kane walked up to him, as he wept and screamed on the ground._

_" You warned him. That could have fucked the whole thing up. We thought we could trust you. Guess we were wrong. " _

_" You fucking bastard!!! I'll kill you! I'll slice your throat! " _

_" Wow. I actually believe you. " _

_Duncan crotched down, in order to be level with the man._

_" But if you try anything, I'll make sure Clarence tortures you so bad that you'll never wish you were never born. "_

_Terrance let his head fall back into the ground, continuing to weep._

_" I own you. You work for me now. Understand? " _

_Duncan walked away from him. Terrance quickly dragged himself to Alex's body, rocking her gently once she was in his arms. He continued to weep as he did so._

*****

As Terrance slowly drifted back into reality he wiped the tears that nearly blinded him from his eyes. He was standing in front of him, Weidman.

" Is it done? " Weidman asked.

Terrance nodded. Clarence put his hand out and out and Terrance took it. This was the moment, the moment Terrance had been planning to do for seven years. He now had the opportunity and he was damned if he wasn't going to take it. He quickly set the other hand to the back of his belt as if pretending to wipe water off of himself. As Clarence brought him to an up right position he let go of his hand.

" You okay? " Clarence asked.

It was then Terrance pulled the .38 Revolver from his jeans and before Weidman could do anything Terrance had it pressed into his throat.

" Please. " He pleaded.

BANG!

As the bullet pierced through Clarence's throat his body fell down, limp as a doll. It was then Terrance heard shuffling in the alleyway. Seconds later Terrance was chasing a figure wearing black trough the trash filled area. The chase went on for roughly twenty seconds until Terrance cocked his gun and pointed it directly to the figure.

" Stop! "

As he got closer, Terrance could tell the figure was a man. He looked scared and had his hands up.

" Turn around! "

Shockingly as it turned around, Duncan's face was revealed. Terrance noticed tears in his eyes.

" You don't want to do this. " Duncan stated.

Terrance had a look of disbelief.

" How do you know what the fuck I want! "

Duncan started to cry harder.

" Please. I have a daughter. "

" I had a wife. "

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

CHIC.

*****

Veronica and Wallace caught up, talking about his life now, his new job, and girlfriend, it all sounded nice. She was happy for him. Wallace was curious about how she met Daniel and she gave him the whole story. He was even curious about Logan, for some reason it was harder to get into all of that.

*****

" Hello. " Logan said as the number off of the business card came in through the phone.

" I was wondering if I could speak to Dr. Keeler? " Logan asked after.

*****

In the heavy rain, Terrance wiped the gun clean with his shirt and chucked it away. As he began to walk towards the street again he felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He felt that he was finally free.


	10. Chapter 10

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

The day was clear as the crowd of police and every other law enforcement agency stood around the body of Duncan Kane. Everyone was doing his or her job, all except for Veronica. She was shocked, shocked to see someone she used to know riddled with bullet holes. A hand rested on her shoulder. A moment later she looked over to see her partner he was looking at her.

" What? "

" You okay? "

Veronica looked back over to the body.

" I'll be alright. I've just never seen something quite like this. "

Her partner nodded.

" Pretty gruesome scene. " He added.

" Yeah. "

He let go of her and kneeled over Duncan's body.

" Whoever shot this guy didn't like him very much. "

" You wouldn't think. "

" The amount of bullets in this guy makes it impossible for this to be a robbery gone wrong, unless the killer was somehow psychotic. "

" That's unlikely. "

" What makes you so sure. "

" That's Duncan Kane, he ... was the active head of Kane software. " She stated, almost wanting to say _is_.

" The kid that kidnapped his daughter? "

" Those charges were dropped. "

" I never understood why he didn't go back to his hometown. "

" He was too busy getting corrupt. "

Her partner looked back over to her. She knew so much about this guy, was there a connection there, or was she just good at her job? He really couldn't tell.

" I have a feeling this isn't going to be a nice case. "

" It never is. "

*****

Logan looked at a fine Los Angeles morning through his window. He had to be at work soon, so he wasn't going to get much of a chance of making this day good. He was somewhat happy though. Maybe he shouldn't be, it wasn't a fact that he'd ever walk again. It was simply a small possibility. It gave him hope. He wasn't sure if it was good or bad. It made him feel nice for now but he would only hurt again once it fell out of his fingers, and there was a strong chance that it could. He should be positive try and use that energy to produce better times. Even though they seemed so far away. Sometimes, he felt like they weren't there at all.

*****

_Logan sat at the table of the restaurant he and Veronica usually spent their time. He was using a pair of sunglasses to block the heavy UV-rays, all while pulling at the sweat filled hair that rested on his face. That was when he saw them, Veronica and Daniel Creed. He hadn't even met this guy and he already thought he was a prick. He simply examined the clothes he was wearing, the way he gelled his hair, his walk, it all screamed prick to Logan. They approached the table and Logan was forced to smile._

_" Hey. " Veronica said, smiling back._

_" Hello. " Logan replied._

_" You going to introduce me? " Logan asked after._

_" Daniel this is Logan. " She stated._

_Daniel brought his hand in front of Logan and he quickly shook it._

_" Pleased to meet you. " Daniel stated._

_" Back at you. " Logan shot. _

_Daniel laughed. _

_" Please. Sit. " Logan said, pointing to the table. _

_Logan turned to everyone as they both took a seat._

_" How are you? " Veronica asked._

_" I'm okay. " Logan answered._

_" You going to go through with the appointment? " _

_" No. " _

_" Why? " _

_" I just don't have the money or the time to devote into something like that. " _

_" That's not the point. " _

_" It's different when you don't have a lot of money sweets. " Daniel stated._

_Sweets? Logan wanted to punch him in the face._

_" Yes. Exactly. " Logan commented._

_" I know. Let's not forget whose money it is. " Veronica stated._

_Logan looked deep into her eyes._

_" It's yours. " _

_" Let me lend it to you. " _

_" No. " _

_" Come on Logan. " _

_" He doesn't want it, sweets. " Daniel stated, placing his hand on her shoulder._

_If he called her that again Logan was going to snap._

_" I don't understand. Why not? " _

_" I gave it to you. I did that so I could control my life. You give me any of it then it was all a waist. " _

_Veronica looked at Logan, trying to fight the urge of confessing how much she missed him._

_" Fine. It's your life. " _

_Daniel placed his hand back on her shoulder._

_" Don't. " Daniel said, commenting on her tone._

_Logan would never admit it but when she said that he nearly wanted to pull her to the ground and have his way with her. He loved that she still cared. It gave him hope. If only the contraption he was sitting in didn't keep him from her._

*****

Logan sat at his post in the factory. He was about to call what must have been his twentieth announcement. He couldn't handle this job anymore. He was going to have to quit soon, in a wheelchair or not. He didn't care. He was just getting sick of this.

*****

_It had been just over an hour since there last conversation. Nothing overly interesting had occurred. The conversation was simply plain, nothing that could be passed off as more than friendly. It was like that until Daniel asked a stupid question._

_" So, what's is it hard living in the city with a criminal record? " _

_Veronica nearly shouted at him, but she couldn't actually say anything. Logan smiled and ran a hand through his hair._

_" Wouldn't you want to know. " Logan stated, smiling. _

_" What? " Daniel asked sternly._

_" I could just imagine you in the pussy ward with all of your other business buddies. Are you worried you might have stolen one dollar too much? " _

_" Logan! " Veronica shouted._

_Daniel was speechless. He soon knew what to say._

_" Guess I hit the wrong button. I'm sorry. " _

_" No. I'll tell you about it. I mean I'm assuming that's why you're asking. Might have to spend some time in their and all. " _

_Veronica couldn't believe what he was doing._

_" And it doesn't get any better when the big greasy bastards are finished playing with your asshole. " _

_" Stop! " Veronica demanded, nearly crying._

_" Why? " _

_Daniel stood up. _

_" Come on sweets. I think I said the wrong thing. I'm sorry. " Daniel stated._

_" He's the one that should be apologizing. " Veronica said, angry as hell._

_" Oh I'm so very sorry Daniel. Please don't go. I'd love for you and sweets to stay. " _

_" Now you're just being a jackass. " _

_" Don't you know it. " _

_With that, Veronica stood up with Daniel and the two of them calmly walked away. Logan watched them, immediately regretting his outburst. Veronica was angry but more worried and scared. At least half of her wanted to go and hold Logan, tell him that he was going to be okay. That he didn't have to worry about being scared or tender. It was just her, it was only ever her._

*****

It was late. Veronica sat on her couch. Caleb was in bed, she was drinking. Hard liquor, the stuff she kept around for moments like these. The moments she felt that everything she once had was all gone. It was, but the only way to make that less scary was to mask it. If anyone, Logan taught her that alcohol was the only way to do that. It was then she heard a knock on the door. She sloppily rested the booze on the coffee table and walked to the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to see who was there. He pulled his hat off and let his hair fall onto his shoulders. He just looked at her. He had seen the news not an hour ago and knew she would have been the first on the scene. He wasn't upset, shocked yes, but he could never be upset. He truly hated Duncan Kane, as Duncan Kane hated him.

" What are you doing here? "

" Do I have to answer that? "

Veronica moved out of the way, letting her back rest against the nearby wall. Logan wheeled his way into the house. He stopped once Veronica shut the door. He could smell the alcohol, he knew it too well.

" Having a drink? "

" Yes. "

" That's understandable. "

Veronica laughed slightly. She didn't understand why he was so blank.

" Has your heart just been ripped away or something? "

" What? "

" I don't think I've seen you feel emotion since ... " She couldn't continue.

" Yeah well ... guess that's the sacrifice. "

" Do you even care at all? "

" No. "

Veronica looked down.

" Why? "

" Bad blood. "

There was a short silence.

" Will I ever understand? " Veronica asked.

Logan looked over to her, she wasn't looking at him. He hated her for actually making him say it.

" No. You won't. "

Neither of them said anything for a minute. Veronica was in shambles and Logan seemed released from something, he wasn't scared anymore. She couldn't sense that in him like she had ever since he landed in that chair.

" You want a drink? " She finally asked.

" Yeah. " He replied.

*****

Veronica sat in the same place she was before she opened the door. Logan sat across from her, still in his wheelchair. He hadn't drunk so much, but intoxication was becoming noticeable on her.

" You should slow down. "

" Fuck you. "

" I spent the morning looking at my ex-boyfriend's bullet riddled body. I can drink how I like. " She stated after.

Logan looked down at his lap. This isn't how he pictured this. He didn't want to witness Veronica like this. He hardly ever had before. Veronica took another swig from her glass, finishing it.

" Why aren't you getting drunk? Isn't that how you resolve everything? "

" Don't. "

Veronica smiled.

" I know what you do- "

" Don't say it. "

" You shoot up. "

At this point Veronica stood up walking closer to him.

" Is that what you'd like? " She asked.

Logan was becoming infuriated. He forgot how hostile she could get.

" You want me to go out and get you some? "

Logan was taking deep breaths. Trying to calm himself down. He didn't want this to get out of hand.

" Cause I will. Just say the word. "

" Stop. "

" Seriously. I'll get it for you. "

Before Logan could think about it he had pulled Veronica down to him by her shirt, her body was resting against his lap. All while he had her face extremely close to his. Veronica laughed at the aggressiveness he had, she knew there were limits to what he could actually do. Logan only became more infuriated, without second thought he brought his hand up, ready to hit her. She smiled.

" Go ahead. "

Logan thought of reasons not to. In the end he came up with one. He let his hand gently fall to her face. He cupped her cheek, at this point admiring their proximity.

" Thought so. " She stated.

As Veronica stood up Logan pulled her onto his lap. He wasn't letting her go anywhere. He needed to have her.

" What are you doing? "

It was then Logan placed his hand under Veronica shirt, touching her skin. He buried his nose into her hair, smelling the scent he missed so badly.

" Logan ... don't. "

" Then stop me. "

Veronica didn't. She was never going to. As Logan rested his hand on her hip, he brought his face to hers. The two of them slightly let their lips brush together more than once. It was Veronica who went in for a full kiss in the end. She couldn't believe what she was doing. Yet she didn't care, for the first time in a long time she felt comfortable.

*****

Limps were tied together in Veronica's bed as she and Logan spent their time doing what they always wanted to do to each other, every time they crossed paths. Nothing needed to be said. The action alone was enough for both of them. They had been apart too long. Four years, four years since they had ever been this close to each other. Veronica was taking advantage of the time she had with him. It meant so much to her, despite the fact she wasn't all there, she needed this. Logan needed it too.

*****

Logan opened his eyes. He didn't know how long he had been asleep. As he turned to his side in Veronica's bed, he saw her beautiful face staring back at him.

" Hi. "

" Hi. "

The two continued to stare at each other. Neither of them was regretting what they just did.

" Is it morning? " Logan asked.

Veronica nodded.

" I slept the whole night? "

" Yeah. "

" Wow. "

As Logan fell back onto his back, Veronica pulled herself onto his body. Using his chest as a pillow. He began to stroke her hair. The two of them stayed like that for a minute.

" You want me to make breakfast? " She asked.

Logan laughed.

" Yeah. I'd like that. "

*****

Logan sat at the table, drinking a cup of coffee. Veronica and Caleb entered the kitchen, she had already started preparing something. Once Caleb saw him he went to the table.

" Logan? What are you doing here? "

" I came to see you kid. "

" Oh. "

Logan laughed. As he looked over to Veronica she was smiling. For a moment Logan didn't want this morning to end.

*****

Later that morning Logan realized he couldn't stay any longer. He had to get back to real life. As he was about to open the door Veronica stopped him. Bringing him to face her. She stroked his face. He held her arm. That was when she started to cry. Logan hated that. She was actually crying.

" Don't. You'll kill me. "

" I know. I can't help it. "

Logan wiped some of her tears away with his thumb. After one of her mesmerizing smiles, Veronica finally let him go. Logan reluctantly opened the door before he had a chance to leave he felt her mouth on his. The kiss was one that he could never forget, but not as much as what she said next.

" Don't be a stranger. "


	11. Chapter 11

I do not own Veronica Mars:

* * *

Logan entered his house at an early hour. Sam sat waiting for him at the end of the bed. Logan smelt of sex and alcohol. Sam knew this before he even entered the door.

" You bastard. " She said with an uncomfortable level of calmness in her voice.

" What? " Logan asked.

" Did you fuck her? "

" You of all people should know I can't do that. "

" Did she fuck you? "

This didn't surprise Logan; he wasn't trying to hide anything. He just felt bad for this woman. She didn't deserve this.

" Yes. "

Sam looked down.

" I don't know what I was expecting. I really don't. "

" Consideration? "

Sam looked back up, slightly offended.

" Do you even care about me? "

" More than you think. "

Sam shook her head. That didn't make sense to her.

" I think you're scared. "

Logan stared at her.

" Why? "

" You grasp onto your past as if it were the only thing you have. You're so scared of life that you think only the people that used to know you can love you. "

" Is that not true? "

" No. I could have loved you. Anyone could have. "

" You can't now? "

Sam shook her head.

" I don't know. "

Logan looked away. He didn't know if he could look her in the eye anymore.

" You going to leave? "

" Soon. "

*****

Veronica sat at the counter, looking at some photos of her and Daniel when they first met. He was a businessman, down right and centre but he knew how to live. He knew that life was precious and throwing it away was a crime. Logan never understood that. To some people life isn't a gift; it's a test of will. Logan believed in the second point strongly. Veronica loved Logan; he was the one that she could never forget. Her first even, her true first. Duncan couldn't count. It was too surreal with him, almost too perfect. Logan was real, but bitter. Depression, something he carried around with him for life. It brought her down, way down. She couldn't get away from it. That was all she really wanted. Daniel, he was a mix of both of them. Perfection and broken all rolled into one. He was a real man, a man that handled his life properly. He didn't medicate himself and disappear, and he also didn't drink and dope himself up to the point of no return. At that, Veronica came to a conclusion. As much as she loved that mess of a man, she couldn't be with him anymore not the way she wanted to. That was selfish, and she knows that. Still, she can't change how she feels.

*****

Logan sat near the counter of his living space. He had cracked a bottle of whisky open. He was intending to forget the day before it was even through. He had done it before. In fact, he was starting to master the whole idea. He had been on his second glass, hoping his liver was damaged enough to no longer have a tolerance. He keeps thinking about something Sam said as she left.

_" Let me know once you grow up, get out of your rut. When you really try you get back to life. It's not too late, and maybe I'll even want to help you. But just make sure it's sooner, rather than later. "_

He found it odd that she still cared, even after he ad slept with the woman she knew he couldn't get out o his head. Maybe she just felt sorry fro him; maybe she really just wanted to help him. With this thought Logan thought about the fact that he did need help, he really did. He skimmed through the last ten years of his life. All in fast forward. The only good part was Veronica. She was literally the only good part, but now there was another, another good part to this so-called life. Why the fuck was he willing to let that go? Over something that he knew he couldn't be with. She was married, married to a man who wasn't even a bad guy. Yet Logan was protective over someone that couldn't be with him, someone that was somehow forbidden fruit. Logan dropped the glass that was in his hand. He knew what he had to do now.

*****

Four knocks came from Veronica's door. She went over to it seconds later; she had no idea who it could have been. As she opened it she was surprised to see Daniel there. Once she was fully accessible Daniel jumped through the door and grabber her, lifting her up in the air as he did so, she was giggling like a little girl. Once he let her down he started kissing almost every inch of skin on her upper body. Eventually he made it to her ear.

" You're back early. " She stated.

" I just missed you. " He whispered.

*****

Logan sat in the seat of the barbers chair, his long stringy strands now cut into a style he sported almost his whole life. His face was now smooth as well. For some reason Logan felt like snapping back into the man he used to be. The barber himself came up beside Logan.

" What do you think sir? "

" It's perfect. Thank you. "

*****

Veronica and Daniel collapsed into sweaty sheets. They had just had some of the most passionate and hot sex any couple had had in that bed before. She was still breathing heavily. Daniel caressed the skin of her belly.

" What was that for? " Veronica asked, referring to the romp they had just had.

" Because I love you. " Daniel replied.

Veronica looked over to him, meaning the words she said next so genuinely.

" I love you too. "

*****

Logan sat in the spinal surgeons office, he had just had his examination and was ready to learn if he'd spend the rest of his days in this wheelchair or not. The doctor had been shuffling files in his hand non-stop for a good chunk of time now. Logan was starting to get nervous. He felt as if a line between what was going to happen in his future relied on whatever this man had to say.

" Mr. Echolls. "

" Yes. "

" I'm going to be entirely honest with you. "

" Please do. "

" The chances of your condition being reversed are slim, very slim, but not impossible. "

Logan smiled to himself he was somewhat relieved.

" Will you do the surgery? "

" If you can meet the necessary requirements in the legal process, then yes. I will. "

" Legal requirements? "

" You have to understand that the procedure that has to be done is extremely risky. It is also not practiced often. In fact on very rare occasions- "

" Could you please get to the point? "

" Only three out of the seventeen patients that went through these surgeries were able to walk again. Ten of the seventeen died during or a short time after the procedure. "

" Are you saying there is a chance this could kill me? "

" Yes. "

*****

Logan entered his apartment only an hour later. The first thing he did was rush to the phone. He punched in the numbers at a fast speed and before he knew it the phone was ringing.

" Hello. " Dick said, picking up the phone.

" Hey Dick, it's Logan. "

" Hey man. How are you? "

" Look, I need a favor. "

*****

Logan sat at his dining table. He was about to write something out on a sheet of paper. He had to reminisce on his whole life. Since the day he met her. Everything he let out on the paper explained nearly everything he loved about her. The hard part was going to be the explaining of why he knew he couldn't be with her. Why it was time he moved on and literally found his way back. It was going to be hard for him to write this.

*****

_Veronica and Logan were in bed. Logan's had his resting around Veronica's waist as he pulled her against his body so ever tightly._

_" You know, if I were a hooker, this snuggle would cost you. "_

_" I'll gladly pay. "_

_" Really? "_

_" For this? Cash money. "_

_She had to twist around to face him._

_" But seriously, folks ... have you? "_

_" What? Ever been with a hooker? "_

_Veronica nodded._

_" Why does it matter? "_

_" I just want to know. I assume the answer is yes. Look at it as an opportunity for me to show you how cool I can be. "Hooker? Who cares?" " _

_" Well, here's your chance to be cool. Stop asking. "_

_" I just want to get to a place with you where we can be really... intimate. "_

_" That's what the female praying mantis says before she bites the male's head off. "_

_" I'm just saying, buried secrets tend to surface when I'm around. "_

_Logan reached out and briefly touched her face._

_" Maybe that's because of all the digging, huh? "_

_" I'm giving you the chance right now to come clean. You tell all. I tell all. Go from there. "_

_" Hm, fine. Ask away. Ask anything you want. "_

_" Have you ever been with a hooker? "_

_" No. "_

_She smiled. He couldn't help but laugh._

_" You want to ask me anything? "_

_" Have you ever been with a hooker? "_

_" No. "_

_Logan sighed, gearing up for the next question._

_" The night you were in Mexico with Mercer- "_

_" Are you kidding me? "_

_Barley believing she would still be thinking about this, he turned away to stare at the ceiling._

_" How was he able to get back to Neptune, commit a rape, and return to Mexico without you knowing? "_

_Logan had to think for a moment. He sighed moments later._

_" Uh ... I must have passed out. I don't know, it felt like a couple minutes, but it could have been hours. Although, maybe he drugged me or something. "_

_He turned back to her; he couldn't help but still think about that._

_" Your question. "_

_" You can have my turn. "_

_Veronica smiled._

_" Were you with anyone while we were broken up? "_

_" Land mine. "_

_Veronica held her breath._

_" I fooled around with this horrible girl who meant less than nothing to me, and I couldn't regret it more. "_

_Veronica twisted away from him and stared up at the ceiling._

_" Thinking of it makes me ill. " He stated after._

_A moment later he looked up at the ceiling as well._

_" So, there. Presto. Intimacy. " He shot._

_A long silent moment passed, he didn't know what to say. He needed reassurance._

_" Still love me? " He asked._

_A slow smile spread across her lips._

_" Yes. "_

_He had to breathe deeply; he couldn't have handled any answer but that. Before either of them could think about it they were kissing deeply._

*****

Logan wasn't nervous as he knocked o her door, he just didn't know what she was going to think. Loneliness was going to be the main thought. He didn't care, he had to tell her what she meant to him. It was so much more than anyone could think. As Sam opened the door her jaw nearly dropped at his appearance.

" You did say sooner, rather than later. " He stated.

" Not this soon. " She replied.

" Help me. "

" Why? "

" I'm getting the surgery. "

Sam looked down; she was slightly proud, somewhat flattered, but still angry. She knew what he so easily did with someone who she could only describe as his first love. She must have been, if he cared so strongly.

" That's good. "

" I'm not asking you to be with me Sam. Just to help me. "

*****

Days past as Logan was laid down against the hospital stretcher, the surgery was going to commence any minute now. Sam sat in the waiting room; she was scared, she had only recently found out about the fact that there was more than fifty percent of a chance that Logan could die. She didn't know why he wanted to go through with it. On a nearby television the news was on, talking about Terrance Lythanelle and how he was caught in the basement of some abandoned house. He was charged a life sentence for the murders of Clarence Weidman and Duncan Kane. Her watching was disturbed as she saw Veronica Mars charging down the hospital hallway. She stopped in front of Sam.

" Where is he? " Veronica asked.

" There about to perform the surgery. " Sam replied.

With that, Veronica nearly sprinted to reception.

" Hello Miss, may I help you? "

" I'm looking for Logan Echolls. "

The woman tapped something into her computer and a moment later looked up to Veronica.

" I'm sorry, but Mr. Echolls is about to receive surgery. "

" I'm aware. I need to see him before it happens. "

" I'm sorry miss- "

Veronica threw her FBI badge in front of the receptionist.

*****

The room Logan was inside was almost kicked down as Veronica blared in.

" Excuse me. " One of the doctors shouted.

Logan was almost shocked. He wasn't even expecting to see her. Veronica was in front of him before he could say anything. She couldn't be with this man but that didn't mean she was about to stand idly by and receive a surgery that could very well kill him. She had done research on various methods to reverse the damage while they were together. She didn't understand, he knew the stats all too well.

" What are you doing? " Veronica asked.

" What I want. " Logan replied.

" This is insane. "

" There's a chance. "

" A slim one. "

" Four people are out and walking again due to this procedure. It could work. "

" A lot of people are not walking from this procedure, most of them are dead. "

" I'll take that chance. "

" What if I don't want you to? "

" You can't stop me. "

" I don't want you to die. "

" What's the difference? "

With that, Veronica backed away. She couldn't handle her life if Logan died, there had been too many times where it could of happened before. She couldn't handle it again. It would be too much.

" I think it's time you go. " Said the doctor that was practically pushing Veronica out of the door.

She watched him get smaller as she got pushed into the hallway. The door swung shut after that, he looked her directly in the eye she looked back at him. She mouthed, "I love you" with her lips. It could have been the last time she ever had the chance. He just smiled. Moments latter the stretcher was moved and his face disappeared. Veronica stood in the hallway, not moving at all she didn't know what was going to happen. She wished it would all go well. She wondered what would happen if he could walk again. All she'd want to do was ditch all of her mature ideas and run away with him. He wouldn't want that. He'd want something more meaningful. Something he could make grow. Their relationship had been cut down too many times to keep alive. It was something of the past. Veronica just wished that wasn't the case.

*****

Hours had gone by. Veronica sat in the waiting room across from Sam. She kept staring at her. Veronica knew that Sam was aware of her past events with Logan. She could have been aware of the one they had not even long ago. She didn't care; all she wanted to know was if Logan was going to live. She wasn't bothered about him walking; she just wanted him to live. He'd lived through enough. Maybe he could finally just survive and get back to normal life for once. At that moment Veronica wanted to turn the dial all the way back, all the way back to the point when she was a little girl. The second she met Logan would be the second she treated him like a human, which is was what he was. Veronica would have had him and kept all the way until now, longer even. She wouldn't have wanted it to play out this way. She would have wanted it different.

*****

She couldn't help but cry as the doctor delivered the news to Sam. Due to previous injuries Logan had, his body wasn't able to withstand the first round of medication. Veronica couldn't listen after that. It was when the doctor kept repeating he wasn't in pain. That was when she knew that he never had a chance to begin with. Every goddamn second she ever spent with him replayed in her brain. Every kiss, look, and time they slept together. She missed it. She wanted it back. She wanted everything back. The doctor approached her next, but she couldn't help but stare as Sam walked out of the hospital only crying somewhat.

" Miss. " The doctor repeated for what must have been the fifth time.

" Yes. "

He placed a brown envelope in her lap. She picked it up and examined it. Her name was written across the front.

" He wrote that fro you. "

There was a short moment of silence and the doctor left shortly after. Veronica just stared at the envelope. She didn't know if she wanted to read it or not. Yet, she knew she had to. She pried open the seal and pulled a normal sized sheet of paper out. She had to unfold it. With hesitance, she began to read.

_" Veronica, if you're reading this I'm either dead, or we are not together. I don't think I can explain how much you mean to me, how much I love you. But I still know that we will never be. I'd like you to know that every time we had something, well it was the best time of my life. Everything I am and can do is because of you. The funny thing is I've never deserved you. You've always been too special or precious to be in my possession. Every time we tried to make it work I was a jackass, addict, or a paraplegic. I've made too many mistakes Veronica. Too many times I've fucked up and skipped away Scott free. Not anymore, whatever happens to me in the future is going to be where I stand for the rest of my life. I keep having this dream where you me and a little girl live out in a cabin somewhere. Everything is perfect and life is so great. Maybe if I wasn't such a fuck-up we could have had this. Unfortunately, where ever I am at the moment is where we stand. I'm sorry you know, for loving you so much. I know that I'm the last man on earth that could ever be worthy. Something inside tells me that you're never going to stop caring, and deep down I hope you don't. But to protect your sanity, it would be the smartest thing to do. As much as I love you Veronica, you deserve so much better than me. You deserve someone that can actually be there. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't always try. I want you to live your life now. Make it the best life you can. That would be the only thing I ask of you. The only thing. I love you. " _

She threw the letter away from her presence. Her head collapsed into her hands as she cried her eyes out. The story was over, their epic story. It had reached an end.

*****

_He saved he. He cared. She wasn't sure if it was an awkward impulse or something she really meant. She kissed him, just quickly, nothing to special. She thought she made a mistake. She turned to leave. He grabbed her, he pulled her so close to him and his hands were all over her. He was kissing her back. He was loving her back. It was the first time they ever exchanged that sort of love._

*****

If she knew then, what she knew now ... she would have never let him go.

*****

Veronica pulled the strip of thick plastic from under her; it was wet from her urine. Minutes later the strip turned from blue to pink. This was the seventh test she had done. She was pregnant. She prayed that it was his; she begged fro it to be his. Maybe the epic story wasn't quite over.

_END_


End file.
